RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
