I like to think it a success when the cops are called
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Randomize