Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
That accounts for only three of the penises
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Randomize
