Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
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