so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize
