Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
he fucked my hip out of place.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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