I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
