Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
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