my soul wont recognize me after tonight
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Randomize
