Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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