Your face is a jimmy john
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize