So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Of course I have a pirate flag
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
