she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
you told grandpa to call you daddy
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
