the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
