My friends, they love my intelligence
they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
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