Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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