i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
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