I like to think it a success when the cops are called
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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