I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
