Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
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