She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
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