Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
Someone shit on the floor
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
