I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Randomize
