I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Randomize
