I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
The uberlube is also flammable
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
