Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize