At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
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