i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize