They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
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