Already got asked if we're dating
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
Randomize
