Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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