Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
