and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
