i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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