I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
