Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Randomize
