Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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