im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
