everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize