I will die if light touches me.
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize
