okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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