You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
