My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
