She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize
