Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
I am never drinking with the goths again.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
