i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
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