ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
