I met the friendliest cop last night
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
this hospital has no fireball
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
