I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Randomize
