Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
