He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
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