and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Randomize
