theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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