Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
Randomize
