Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Randomize
