Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
