I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
