weddingsv make me drug and hornr
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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