The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Hippo gnu deer
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
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