also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Randomize
