There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
