i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
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