I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
