More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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