This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
