I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
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