My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
