I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Randomize
