Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
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