Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Randomize
