Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
tonight lets celebrate not being married
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
